The 8 Lessons You Need To Know To Break Free From the Leadership Constriction Trap™
Being a high performer is great until it’s not.
High performers often fall into the trap of more.
Often, we crave more impact and in that ambition, we receive more responsibilities, projects, tasks, and people to support.
Unsurprisingly, high performers achieve remarkable success in their careers and organizations. They earn more autonomy, trust, and invitations or requests to lead additional projects.
With each promotion, their responsibilities multiply, along with an ever-growing to-do list.
In this trap, the day becomes the hero’s journey to simply keep the to-do list checked off and respond to the most ‘urgent’ issues.
Often, these urgent issues are deemed urgent not by a well-thought-out discussion and consideration but rather by the speed of the ask.
And then there’s the leadership aspect.
Leading other people brings even more work.
And then comes the question - how do I remain a strong individual contributor, manage my workload, continue to exceed expectations, AND be a great leader?
The simple answer is you don’t.
Have you asked yourself any of these questions over the past 30 days?
Am I cut out for this?
Why can’t I just do more?
Surely if I’m a high-performer I should be able to sustain this?
Why do I feel so unhappy, dissatisfied, and overwhelmed?
Am I burned out?
What do I really want from my career if I don’t want this?
These questions may indicate you’re amid The Leadership Constriction Trap™ - where as leaders we take on more responsibility, and so too, take on more overwhelm, dissatisfaction, and pressure.
Side note: Don’t make any major life decisions when you’re amid The Leadership Constriction Trap™ (it’s similar to not making any major life decisions the week before your period!)
Women often come to me when they are right in the middle of the constriction trap- seeking a deeper understanding of why they feel so misaligned in values and work.
This trap of being ‘stuck in the weeds’ leaves little time for proactiveness. Without time for proactive reflections, leaders aren’t getting time to:
Reflect, strategize, and plan around impact instead they are just trying to get through the daily workload and put out fires.
Spending time strategically allocating resources based on strengths instead they are trying to do it all themselves and delegate quickly.
Doing work that brings great levels of satisfaction and impact instead of doing work that often drains.
Creating efficiencies within processes and structures and instead not having the time to address longer-term improvements
Facilitating deep collaborative team planning, creativity, and brainstorming sessions instead of only having time to check in on work, project statuses, and blockers.
Proactively leading, coaching, and supporting team members instead of responding to engagement or performance issues
I reassure women at this stage that they are not alone and support them in understanding their pathway out of constriction and into impact and well-being amplification through our starter sessions. From running over 50 of these sessions in the past 6 months, I want to share with you, The Top 8 Lessons You Need To Know To Break Free From the Leadership Constriction Trap™ (a.k.a what nobody tells you about creating a sustainable life in corporate leadership)
1 . What got you here, won’t get you there.
The high-performing worker bee that propelled you to this level of your career needs to evolve if you want to create a truly impactful and sustainable career as a leader. You have to transition from doing to thinking, facilitating, and coaching. As high performers, we often value our ability to get things done over our ability to dream, connect, strategize, collaborate, and empower. This perspective shift runs deep and needs to be ignited to truly move into a new level of leadership.
2. That means letting go of a past version of you (who served you well).
The past version of yourself who worked too many hours forgot to eat lunch, and said yes to everything—she served you well and deserves a big hug (and a huge nap!). Connect with her and tell her it’s time to rest. She got you to where you are today, but she won’t get you to where you want to be tomorrow.
3. It means letting go of control and leaning into more trust.
The idea that ‘nobody does it better than you’ is unfair and often untrue. It’s our ego’s way of keeping us in stress cycles and, in turn, disempowering others. Next-level leadership requires unshakeable trust in your team. If you have trust issues stemming from performance or ability, they need to be addressed ASAP. Start approaching every delegated task with a sense of curiosity—I wonder what amazing ideas or approaches my team will come up with. Let them be trusted. P.S. Sometimes people won’t do it as well as you and sometimes you risk that it might get screwed up - but you can’t control every outcome. You can only control how you communicate expectations, coach people toward success, and hire amazing team members.
4. It means prioritizing thinking and strategy time.
Most people react to every request immediately and live in a state of reactivity. The true leaders of tomorrow are proactive and lead slowly. That means taking time to think, strategize, reflect, and organize. If you’re not intentionally creating space for this regularly, I guarantee your nervous system will feel overwhelmed and overloaded. To be organized is to be kind to ourselves.
5. It means setting the direction rather than responding.
In the Impact Amplification stage of leadership, you’re setting the direction rather than responding. This often involves the structure of teams and resource allocation. Rather than waiting to be told if you can hire someone, it’s your responsibility to plan the future vision of your team and advocate for additional hires, budget, and resources. Set the direction.
6. It means educating others on your capacity and what will be prioritized and deprioritized.
You’re not the yes-woman anymore, which means making decisions on what will be prioritized and what will be deprioritized. You’ll often need to educate your peers, other senior leaders, and even your manager on capacity and possibilities. Everything is possible until you reach the 40 hours in the work week, right? Your potential is infinite, but your capacity is not.
7. It means knowing what you excel in, what brings you high impact and high satisfaction, and delegating everything else.
Focus on what you’re good at, what brings you joy, and delivers impact—it’s the first step to the 10x impact you deserve. Plus, it empowers you to delegate based on strengths, and that’s a team win.
8. It means advocating for yourself—getting even more support than you’re giving.
A lack of quality support is a source of chronic stress and is often a root cause of burnout I see among the women I work with. If you’re leveling up, you need additional support. You’ll likely need to advocate for more one-on-ones with your leader and coaching support. Every great leader has a coach, and it takes bravery to ask, but I’ve yet to see a high performer have a coaching request turned down. If you’re not getting coaching- what’s stopping you from requesting it?
So what’s the solution?
I can’t promise miracles but I can promise clarity. Book your complimentary starter session here. Once you’ve booked your call, I’ll send you a scorecard which we’ll review together to support you in identifying your goals, blockers, and leadership vision.
Blessings my friends,
Shauna
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